#uptownroger

I’m skipping around between adoption things and other life things. My friends at work said this could quickly become a dog blog. I’ll try not to let that happen.

In the post “Uncle Roger’s Tail” I ended by saying I would tell you how he got the hash tag #uptownroger. So this is the story.

The three of us moved to Uptown in April . . . May? April.

May.

We (I) was a little afraid because it isn’t the most safe neighborhood. It is “up and coming” but it isn’t up yet. It’s coming. Gangs are active right around the corner and I’m 90% sure I’ve seen 11 drug deals since we moved in. One day we were walking out of our apartment door and heard 10 or 12 consecutive shots fired from what we found out later was an assault rifle. That’s the day this happened.

But not to fear, Uncle Roger is here!

I was glad to have a big dog to walk around with in case I needed some protection. He’s very intimidating.

He once co-starred as Goliath alongside this guy, David.

That’s my mom and Dad’s yorkie. If you aren’t familiar with the story, read here.

I knew I was safe with my beast by my side walking around the dangerous streets of Uptown. No one would mess with me. I would feel shielded and keep barriers up between me and the scary people.

As we started walking around with this dog my idea of what his purpose was totally changed. I expected him to be a protector and keep a space between me and the people around me.

What I didn’t expect was this.

And this.

And this.

There are more but I’ll save them for later.

The point is, I was stupid. I thought Roger would protect us from people but he ended up helping us to meet our neighbors. He is a 130 pound ice breaker. We can hardly walk a block without talking to someone about him, someone talking to him, or us wiping slobber off of someone. Some of the people we would have thought were “scary” have been the nicest people we’ve met and I don’t know that we would have stopped to have a conversation unless he was walking with us. I did not need a protector. I needed a cool dog that opens doors for communication and friendship. He facilitates building relationships with the people in our neighborhood, which is exactly the reason we moved here! He was in the plan for us before we knew what the plan was.

When I started telling some friends about this new role he stepped into, one friend Alyssa said “He should have a hash tag. And it should be Uptown Roger.” I thought it was brilliant. There have been a few times when strangers want to take a picture of him or have me take their picture with him. Then I mention his hash tag.

I hope to have a collection of the different people we meet because of him. For now the collection is around 30 pictures taken by me, 10 by my sister-in-law, Jan, and 5 by Uncle Roger’s biggest love/hater, Sher. Maybe 2 from strangers. But it’s getting there.

This is a beautiful neighborhood full of beautiful people. We’ve only lived here for a few months but we’ve made great friends and are excited for what the next few years here bring us.

Someday I’ll learn more about the history of the neighborhood and teach you about it. Apparently it’s fascinating.

PS Isn’t the picture with that kid on the sidewalk the cutest? Go ahead, look again.

I will end with a quote that put me in check. Sher shared (I won’t say shared again after saying Sher) it one day and it has stuck with me.

“People may come to our communities because they want to serve the poor; they will only stay once they have discovered that they themselves are the poor.”

– Jean Vanier

Domestic v. Internacionale

This is where you start.

When you decide to adopt and are trying to get the process going, this is what you have to decide first. By the way, I’ll be wrong about a lot of statements like this because I am NOT an expert on adoption. Tye is really smart, but he isn’t either. Not yet.

When we were faced with this question, our response was “which kid needs a family most?”

That’s like asking which baby penguin is cuter?

Which cake is more delicious?

Or which newfie is more slobbery? Except that answer is Uncle Roger.

It’s all the same. Every child needs a home. It doesn’t matter where they are now, how old they are, what they look like. Every child needs a home. My friend Sara was instrumental in my realization of this. By “my realization” I mean she flat out told me that and then I agreed.

When you realize every kid needs someone to love them, I think it makes the decision more difficult. Now we’re back to the beginning. We don’t have anything to base our decision on. One day I prayed I would come home and find a baby on our doorstep (I still do sometimes). That would make these decisions so easy!

So now where to start? We’re facts people so we started here. Wikipedia.

This website called American Adoptions really does a great job of outlining domestic versus international adoptions.

With domestic adoption you have to think about relationships with the child’s birth-mother, your involvement in the pregnancy, open versus closed adoption, the age of the child, will you be involved in foster care or potentially adoption from a foster care program, etc.

With international adoption you have to think about your ability to travel, the availability (usually lack of availability) of a child’s medical records, re-adoption in the US, specific program requirements, etc.

And with both you have to think about waiting for paperwork and signatures, the possibility of your child spending some of his/her life being raised by other people, the difficulty the child may have adjusting into your home, the difficulty you may have adjusting to being a parent, and the possibility of something changing along the way and delaying the process.

Scary!

Me too, kid. Me too.

We have decided to adopt internationally. We based that decision on many things; the hold on domestic adoptions from the agency we initially were working with, the availability of foster care in the United States as well as services provided to underprivileged in our country, and the general assumption that our country is more wealthy than others. We felt that if we have the option to adopt internationally we should take it. Other families may not be able to do the traveling involved with international adoptions and other families may choose to be foster families for domestic children. Which, by the way, is awesome. Again, EVERY child needs a family. Temporary included.

We decided on international adoption because we think that is best for us. It is not the only way or the better way or the right way. Again, every child needs a home.

After that decision is made, the question of which country is next.

It’s super overwhelming. There are so many countries. 196 of them. Well, that is the “best” answer, apparently no one knows for sure (why don’t they know that?!).

Which country did we pick? I’ll tell you next time.

Uncle Roger’s Tail

Yes, I’ve been planning that title for weeks. And yes, I think it’s hilarious.

That’s him at the farmer’s market. He likes to eat local. 

Roger is the coolest dog. Ever. That’s him with our little cousin, Elyce.

When Tye and I first started talking about what dog to get he suggested a Newfoundland. I fell in love after looking at a few google images and reading about water rescue.

These dogs are boss. Watch their helicopter jumping! 

Uncle Roger loves the dog beach. He isn’t jumping out of helicopters yet, but give him time. 

We picked up our puppy on a whim. Left one morning for church and ended up driving 4 hours north to Seidls Lakeview Ranch instead. Jan, Tye’s sister, played a major part in convincing Tye that day to go get a puppy. And she sat in the back seat with that stinky thing the whole way home. Mad props. 

The name.

Why Uncle Roger? Just because it’s funny. We were with some friends one night a few months before we picked him up. We told them what kind we wanted, told them about their personality and demeanor. Told them he would be big and hairy. Sara said “some of my friends were going to name their dog Uncle something.”

Perfect.

A while later Dave said “how about Roger?”

Boom. Dog name. The name was chosen before he was. And it’s so perfect.

 

 

 

Uncle Roger has been awesome. He is super slobbery, super hairy and sometimes uncontrollably large. But he’s awesome.

Next time I write about Roger I’ll tell you how much he loves Uptown and how he got the hash tag #uptownroger.

And Counting

This is the story of how we decided to adopt.

Adoption had been in the back of my mind as soon as I started to listen to friends describe delivering a baby. We all know there are many many children who do not have a home and what a great alternative to child birth!

When the time came to talk together about how to start a family, adoption was an option for both of us. We have good friends who were blazing the trail and able to answer many of our questions. There was an Adoption Sunday at our church where 5 couples who have or are in the process of adopting told their stories. After that day we felt a strong pull to consider adoption for our family. In an effort to not act spontaneously or act for the wrong reasons, we decided we wouldn’t talk about it for 4 months- not until after Christmas.

In the meantime we both prayed and did some research. When we came back to talk about what we thought, the answer was obvious and simple.

Why not? Why wouldn’t we bring a child into our home? Why wouldn’t we start our family by adopting a child, the same way we are adopted by Christ? Why not? We know we want to have kids, why not choose adoption to grow our family?

There are always reasons to doubt something like this can be possible. But really, compared to many things that happen every day, this is VERY possible.

We don’t have an awesome story about why we are choosing to adopt. It’s super normal and doesn’t need a flashy explanation. We hope that sharing this journey will make adoption more normal/common/usual/ordinary and even popular.

Let’s put orphanages out of business! In a good way.

Here’s a video of a really cool family that has inspired us.

I Like Adoption

Tye and Kali’s Tale

To know us better, you should know how we got together.

We went to the same college and knew each other but never talked. It wasn’t until after college that we met again through friends and became good friends ourselves. We were such good friends that it took a little while before we were both on board for dating. Instead, we just talked on the phone until 6am for 3 weeks. When we were both ready to date, we did. From that minute we knew we would get married. We didn’t question it, worry about whether it would work, or wonder if we would be happy. We had faith that we were doing the right thing. And we totally are.

Some wedding pics for you:

The best bridal party

So fun being followed and doted over all day by my best friends

Mr. and Mrs.

Most awesome kids

So there you have it. We were in love then. We are in love now. Fall in love with the same person over and over, that’s our plan.

Photo cred : Philip Anema