We’re Here and Now I’m a Mom/Theo Doesn’t Need America

First of all, it’s so awesome to be writing this as Theo is sleeping in the pack and play on the other side of the same room! By the time I got to end he was here

Also, if you don’t care about how much I love my kid or what he looks like, scroll down to “The Most Important Part.” This is about my thoughts on international adoption. It’s why I started typing today.

This is my 6th day in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Tye left on Friday but was able to make Stu (we currently call him 3 different names; Theo, Restu and Stu) fall in love with him first.

When we landed on Tuesday we checked in to the guest house and went straight to the orphanage. We know the caregivers there are fantastic and do the best they can with what they have, but it was still a very sad place. We learned which kids were able to be adopted and which weren’t and which kids were sponsored and which weren’t. It was dark and chaotic and kids were begging for attention while caregivers worked tirelessly and joyfully to dress kids, bathe kids, feed kids, do their laundry and keep them safe. The kids all seemed really happy. They are being taken care of.

When we first met Restu he was eating. Which helped. This kid loves to eat. We walked in to the children’s home guided by Sister Lutgarda. She pointed out the room he would be in and showed us to the door. She said “there he is.” My eyes went straight for him. I didn’t see anything else. He could have been the only kid in that room. He was standing up at a table eating and there was his little profile. That was the only time I teared up. After that I was like “let’s do this, gimme that kid!”

They gave us mini chairs to sit on and let us feed him. I think he liked us right away because of the injera with cabbage and potatoes we were giving him. They also made us a bottle for him. They were so positive and helpful, giving us whatever we needed and making sure Restu felt comfortable.

By the way I’m still on Day 1 so this is going to be a long post.

We visited for a few hours and went up to a hallway to be alone. He didn’t hate us but he was obviously scared. He fell asleep a lot which we assumed was his exit response to the stress of two strangers staring at him kissing him and taking selfies with him. He could have also been tired  . . . Here are some pictures of the first day.

We went back to the guest house after stocking up on pringles and soda at Safeway. We were so tired from the long trip but we just wanted to go back to see him every minute we had. We waited until the next day and went to see him first thing.

The second day visiting was better. We walked over to him and he smiled a little. He started staying awake longer and playing with us more. We caught glimpses of his personality and started to earn a little trust. We think he started to realize that when we were there we were only spending time with him. Only bringing toys to him. Only feeding him. Here are some pictures of Day 2.

The 3rd day was when we went to court and sat in front of the judge. He asked a few questions that were mostly asking if we’ve met him and still want to adopt him (uh, yeah more than ever), do we live in a diverse area (shout out to Uptown, Chi), and emphasizing that this is a very serious thing and we can’t bring him back (only to see how great his country is). We took it very seriously and were honored that someone would allow us to adopt this shy, independent and sweet child.  After that we had to do some paperwork at the agency, then went straight back over to the orphanage to hang out with him again. This time he smiled more when we saw him and he stayed awake most of the time we were there. Then Tye had to say goodbye and I hoped I could pick him up the next day. And a picture.

We brought him that little caterpillar and he loved it. It helped to have a toy to associate us with I think.

Friday morning I went to his place as soon as I could. He was getting a bath when I got there which was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. We played for a few hours (there are two other families with kids at the same place. We played in the same room each time we visited. We’ve really bonded over our stories and getting to know each others’ kids!) and then got word that the court decrees were ready to be picked up. We all rushed over to the offices to get the papers and rushed back to the orphanage to get our kids. When I came back to get him, I looked around the room so see which crib he was in. We made eye contact at the same time and he LIT UP! I will never forget his face. For the first time, he was really excited to see me and I know he knew he was ours. Within a couple hours, I had full custody of Baby Theo. More pictures.

He slept the whole car ride and was still sleeping for a while when we came back to the guest house. He’s a sweaty little sleeper but I loved it. When he woke up he was just looking all around. I’m sure he was scared and confused and wondering where all his friends were. He didn’t cry, he just looked.

And then, he looked at me. And we both thought, “now what.” Soooooo, are you hungry? What’s your diaper situation? If you’re like me you need a couple minutes after you wake up so I’m just gonna feel this out and let you tell me what you want to do.”

That was Friday, today is Monday. We’re both alive and well. We’re having a blast. I beg for him to go to sleep and then can’t wait for him to wake up.

We have naps, eat together (his dad will be proud that he always takes everything bites), we have PT for stairs and gait training (he’s at about 10 steps and was only walking with support on Friday), we have play time with our friends who are also trying to get home with their son, we sing songs, we make faces, he copies everything I do, we watch The Lorax. He took a bath Saturday. He’s learned how to high five and is working on waving. He’s figured out how to get snacks (in and) out of that one way webbed toddler snack cup. We also do photo shoots.

The nights are a little harder because he has sores on his head that he scratches. He wakes up 2-5 times a night and will only fall back asleep on me. I’m not complaining. He’s a great kid and very brave, super fun to hang out with.

Done with the pictures.

The Most Important Part

I would like to think this was my mindset before I got here but I’m not sure I really thought about it. I just want to make this clear as we wrap up our adoption story (although in most ways this is just the beginning).

Ethiopia is beautiful, Addis Ababa is beautiful, this is a wonderful place that Theo should be proud to call his first home. I would be proud! We will teach him all about it.

We are not adopting Theo to take him out of a city with high poverty, drought, poor living conditions for many people. As we were driving around this week taking care of business this was so obvious to me. People work hard for very little. People are happy and they have what they need. The population I’m talking about lives more simply, focuses on caring for their families and getting their work done. And I’m certain their immune systems are much stronger than ours. We can learn a lot from the people in parts of the world that we would consider “impoverished.” People can and do thrive here and I want to be more like them.

Theo doesn’t need more possessions, more money, better clothes, a nicer house. He doesn’t need America. He needs a family. He could easily thrive here if he had a family. But he didn’t have a family, and now he does, and we live in America.

The end. And the beginning.

It’s Happening

On Thursday morning I woke up to my alarm and checked my email while I was still in bed. This is a habit I’ve gotten into over the last few months. Constantly checking my email. Waiting for any information about our case moving forward.

There was an email from our case manager who is in Ethiopia right now and 9 hours ahead of us. It was just a generic “Hey Tye and Kali, as your court date will be assigned soon here is some information . . .” Communicating travel plans, setting up a driver, guest house, packing lists, getting a prescription for anxiety medication. I went to work and checked my email again.

That was when the most exciting and terrifying and wonderful email came. After just a few hours we got another update from our case manager who sounded as surprised as we were about to be. “It looks like you could be traveling very soon! I’ve requested a court date for December 1st or 3rd. Does that work for you?”

“Ooooooooo, ummmmm, shoot. No, actually, we’re busy those days. How about the next week?” Was not our reply.

“YESSSSSSSSSSSS! ABSOLUTELY! Either one would be great.” Was our reply.

The next day we received confirmation that we need to be in court in Ethiopia on December 3rd. Within an hour we had flights and a guest house booked.

And now,

time.

Is.

Standing.

Still.

In just over a week we will meet our son for the first time and our lives will change. I am assuming this is similar to pregnancy. You wait and wait and wait and wait for months and all of a sudden CONTRACTIONS! PUSHING! PEOPLE ALL UP IN THERE! DILATED TO 30 OR WHATEVER! A BABY! And now there is a little person counting on you for everything. Forever.

There have only been a couple other times in my life I’ve had this combination of feelings of nervous/anxious/excited. One was taking my exam for my PT license. For days leading up to the test I felt completely unprepared, pressured, and like if I moved the wrong way all of the information I needed would just fall out of my head.

In comparison, right now I feel completely unprepared, pressured, and like if I look at him the wrong way my child will hate me forever or I will just break him. I’ve heard of that happening.

What am I afraid of?

that he will cry / that he won’t eat / that he won’t sleep / that he will be too scared and I won’t be able to comfort him / that he will fall / him eating things he shouldn’t / he stops breathing / he hates me / he falls out a window / he doesn’t like any of the toys I brought / that he get’s lost / he cries during the whole flight and people know that he hates me / that he won’t like Happy Meals or dessert / Roger eats him / Roger knocks him over and he hates Roger / he doesn’t like his room / he can’t sleep / he’s scared and I can’t comfort him / because he hates me

I think all of this fear and anxiety is based on a realistic idea that he will be so scared. I would be, too. He’s going to be faced with a lot of changes and all I can do is love him and help him through it. I can help him to know that there is a family who has been waiting for and praying for and talking about him for months and they are ready to meet all of his basic needs and raise him to feel accepted and loved.

If Restu had a blog I think there would be titles like

Who are You and Where are You Taking Me?

 

Or

What Are You Trying to Feed Me?

 

Or

What. Is. THAT. And Why is it in Our House. And is it Going to Eat Me. (Roger)

 

Or

I Have to Sleep by MYSELF?: Where are all My Friends.

 

Happy Birthday, Stu.

Your actual name is Restu but we like to call you Stu. Restu was the first way we saw it. Since then we’ve also seen Ristu. One version we saw was Restu X.

Restu (we’ve been told) means blessing. Which is adorable because that’s what your nanny’s name is! I’ve never been able to find the meaning myself but someone told me it’s “blessing” and I’ll believe it until I go to Ethiopia for the first time and I can ask. Either way, you are a blessing.

So it was your birthday last week. Obviously we were very sad to not be with you. We’re sad about that most days. Since we found out about you we’ve wanted you to be with us all the time. Walking the dog, being with our friends and family, watch Netflix. We want you to be with us. When you do come home I’m thinking we’ll do more things that 1 year olds like- going to the park and laughing at repetitive games and taking naps and playing with colorful objects. But for now we mostly picture you doing things that we do. It’s just easier.

On your birthday our friends threw you a shower/birthday party.

I insisted on making your first birthday cake (one of the many things I will do for you that will have major significance to me and will probably not matter to you),

we played a shower game (when Tye beat me at being a parent), we made you a match game by painting wood pieces,

people wrote you messages in a book,

then we sang happy birthday and the kids blew out your candle. I think there’s a video somewhere that maybe someday you’ll want to watch.

When you’re young you won’t have a choice. I’ll make you watch it and tell you all about how we loved you and celebrated you before we met you. That we have amazing friends who were so excited to meet you they would sing “happy birthday” to you when you weren’t even there. That I redecorated the cake three times to try to make it perfect for a tiny stranger who will never see it in person (you will get to eat some of it because the mini part from the top is in our freezer and I think when you come home I’ll let you do whatever you want and eat all the sugar we have in the house because you’re so cute).

When you’re older, you can choose how often you want to read these few blog posts, look through our hundreds of emails in the folder labeled “Adoption”, hear the story of how we found you and traveled to meet you and bring you home, and watch your birthday video (Ashley, does that exist or no?? It’s just that I keep referencing it and maybe the video is irrelevant . . .). Maybe you won’t care much about it, but maybe it will help the tiniest bit for you to know that you are valued and wanted. We know we can’t do anything about your first few months on earth but we can give you a family now. Adopted or biological, young or old, we all need one.

I can’t wait for you to join our family and I can’t wait for you to meet everyone here who has been waiting for you! We will learn to be your parents no matter what you go through or how you handle what you’ve been dealt because we already love you more than we thought possible. And we won’t stop.

Happy birthday, Stu. Next year will be epic.

Oh and you get Roger’s room. He’s already moved out. He’s mad but he’ll get over it.

PS we’re finishing the PAIR process soon and are hoping for our first court date in Ethiopia to happen in the next couple of months. WE’RE COMING FOR YOU LITTLE MAN!!!!

PPS I made this for you with some of your party decorations.

And we’re pretty sure you have everything else you need so just . . . anytime now.

We got a referral!

A couple weeks ago we saw pictures of our son. When we got the phone call we were surprised and obviously beyond excited. It will be a few months before we get our first court date and can go meet him, then we make a second trip and can bring him home. 

Here is the timeline so far . . .

December 2013 we applied with the adoption agency

February 2014 we started our home study with the state of Illinois

Fall 2014 our home study was approved (this took longer than usual because of our slow speed of completing paperwork and our state’s current approval time). I think you can usually get it done in about 4 months (?)

Sometime in the winter, with our home study being done and our bill paid to agency, we were put on the wait list for Ethiopia

January 2015 we found out we were number 17 on the wait list

Tuesday, April 28th at 2pm we received a referral. Here is a basic outline of how the next 3 minutes changed our lives.

Voicemail from agency : “Hi Kali, I just wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. Call me when you get a chance.”

Me on gchat to Tye with my left hand as I call the agency with my right hand: Hey, agency called. Calling back.

Tye: what is it

Me: don’t know calling now

Agency on the phone: “Hi Kali, how are you? 

Me: (who cares, tell me why you’re calling) “I’m great, thanks. How are you? (tell me why you’re calling) 

Tye on gchat: what’s she saying

Me: not sure

Agency: “I just had a couple of questions (longest pause ever).”

Me: (waited through pause an appropriate amount of time because I thought she would keep talking …she didn’t) “Okay, sure.”

Agency: “Soooooooooooo I’mmmmmmmmmmmmm loooooooooooooookiiiiiiiiiing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaat yooooooooooooooour fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile (I won’t do that anymore but my point is that she wasn’t talking as quickly as I wanted her to). You and Tye had requested a sibling group, right?”

Me: “Uh . . . yes.” (Trying short answers with hopes it would make her talk more)

Tye on gchat:  is something wrong?

Me: don’t know

Agency: “Okay. So is a sibling group your preference?”

Me: “Not necessarily (some more words explaining why we said a sibling group but that really it didn’t matter).”

Agency: “Alright. Well also I see you selected ‘male’ as your preference. Is that right?” 

Me: “Um yes . . . But we don’t really have a preference, we just said that because we had to put an answer down (more words explaining our decisions for the application).”

Tye on gchat: ?

Me: asking our preferences

Agency: (the master of long pauses and slow speaking) “Welllllll . . . You’ve been matched with a baby!”

I’m laughing, crying, and trying to catch details. I typed to Tye as I heard her say words: 

Boy

6 months

Healthy

Email coming with pictures 

I thanked her, asked how we moved up the list so quickly, asked what to do next. Didn’t pay attention to any of the answers. 

I called Tye and we opened the email at the same time. We spent a few minutes talking about how awesome he is, like all of his features were just the best thing we’ve ever seen. Then we both had to work a few more hours which sounds great but it wasn’t. 

We can’t post any pictures online but I CAN describe him. 

He’s cuter than this 

   
And this

  

And this

  

And this

And this

    

And this, too.

 

So now we do a little more paperwork and pray. We pray we can get to him quickly, we thank God for the people who are caring for him right now, and for his birth parents. We pray that if there is any chance for reconciliation with his biological family that it would happen soon. We pray we can be good parents. 

We know many families have waited longer than we have and have been through much more emotional and physical hardship. We’re so thankful, excited, hopeful and nervous. We’ve memorized his face and lab results because that’s all we have. 

More efforts are continuing to help families stay together all over the world. In the meantime, my opinion is that as long as there are kids abandoned and placed in orphanages, adoption is one answer. Kids thrive in loving families regardless of race or geography. 

This is my opinion and yours may be different. It’s cool. It won’t change how much I love my son.

Approved!

Today we received our approval letter for our home study. Thank you, State of Illinois and The Department of Children and Family Services for deeming us suitable to raise children. We have good motives, strong values, and working fire and carbon monoxide alarms. We’re ready!

Thank you for asking us how the adoption process is going. We’re so glad to be able to say something other than, “we’re waiting for our home study to be approved.” Now we’re one step closer to meeting our child!

Next steps are:

– pray
– dossier (more paperwork/documents to send internationally)
– pray
– wait for a referral (“you’ve been paired with a child”)
– pray
– trip 1 to Ethiopia to meet out child, start in-country paperwork in court
– pray
– trip 2 to Ethiopia to bring him/her home
– pray
– learn how to be parents

This will continue to be a “hurry up and wait” situation. We’re (outwardly) keeping our cool for now.

Uncle Roger is going to be a great big brother. That’s him with our niece, Alayna.

And this is just my latte from Everybody’s Coffee this morning. You KNOW it’s going to be a good day when it starts with this.

 

Woohoo!

 

 

gen·er·os·i·ty

Not much has been happening with our adoption process. Right now we are waiting for our home study to be approved. When it is, we will be on THE LIST!

Yeah. We’re excited.

In the meantime, we want to talk about how great our friends and families are. Obviously this is an expensive process and we wouldn’t be able to do it without help.

Before we even asked for money, we received this (generous donation)

“This is for your adoption fund. You’re welcome to use it however you need it. We can’t wait for you guys to start your family”

and this (generous donation)

“Just wanted to send a little gift your way to put in the baby adoption jar!”

allowing us to start our adoption process 6 months sooner than we planned for. Awesome.

Then we had our March Madness tournament and raised more money than we could have imagined (generous donations). We had to ask a handful of people if they accidentally typed in an extra zero in the amount they donated. They hadn’t, but good thing we love awkward conversations so much.

A couple of weeks ago a friend emailed ASKING US what we needed. Money, baby clothes, baby furniture, whatever. They mailed us a check soon after (generous donation).

We have been affirmed over and over in this decision. With money, prayers, and support. We’re going to be ready for this kid when we get the phone call/email/fax/stork/drone.

Thanks to you. Our friends and family who know how much we love this child we’ve never met, who pray for the birth parents, and who are preparing to be parents who will provide a safe and happy home. With a giant fluffy dog horse.

Not Uncle Roger, just another cute Newf.

We know international adoption is a controversial issue but we stand by the fact that every child deserves a family. Adoption may not be the perfect solution (it takes kids away from their country of birth, it does not provide a long-term solution for disease and poverty- talk to some of my blog-haters and they will give you the full list) but it is the best we can do at this moment to make sure one more child grows up loved, encouraged and given the chance to thrive.

Here is a video my sister-in-law sent me. It was just another one of the many examples of people showing us support (generous donation).

We could never say it enough.

March Madness Begins : Click, click, play!

Family and Friends,

As you know, we are in the process of adopting a child(ren) from Ethiopia. At this point we are in the home study process, which we expect will be finished later this spring. After that, we complete more paperwork, wait for our referral, meet our child(ren) and come home. In the meantime, we are saving and raising money to cover the costs of the adoption (social worker, agency, court, paperwork, travel, etc). The total cost will be around $30,000 and we will need all the help we can get! We hope you can participate in our March Madness fundraiser. Maybe you’ll even win some money!

Here is what you can do to help

1.  Join our Tournament on Yahoo Sports

• Go to http://y.ahoo.it/arU6dbXr
• This will take you to Eckert Adoption Pool
• Click “Sign In” (If you don’t have a Yahoo! account you can sign in using your Facebook or Google account)
• Create a new bracket
• Title your bracket
• Once your first bracket is saved there will be an option for you to create more brackets (up to 10)

2.  Donate to our Adoption via PayPal

• Go to www.paypal.com
• Click “Send Money”
• Enter the donation amount
• Send donations to eckertadoption@gmail.com
• There is a $0.59 fee to use a credit/debit card, no fee if you have a PayPal account

 3. Suggested donations are:

• $10 for 1 bracket
• $20 for 2
• $25 for 3
• $30 for 4
• $35 for 5

3.  Get crazy and watch some basketball!

• 1st place will win 35% of the money raised up to $300
• 2nd place will win 15% of the money raised up to $100

Brackets are due Thursday, March 20th 9am EST

Pass the info on in case some people you know are feeling generous. Thank you for your participation in this fundraiser and for your support in our adoption! If you have any questions, just ask me or Tye or email eckertadoption@gmail.com

Go Buckeyes!

(please don’t let our Buckeyes loyalty deter you from participating)

Diversity Day

This weekend we went to our first course for the required education part of the adoption. The social worker was an excellent presenter and has 35 years of experience working with adoptive families. She had a lot of great stories to tell and the course was really great.

We talked about everything from giving your child pictures of you so they know what to expect to cultural differences like why it’s important for an African American to have healthy skin and frequent trips to the barber shop.

My least/most favorite part was 3 hours in, sitting in a big circle with 6 families representing many ethnic groups. The instructor put up a presentation slide titled “Stereotypes.” The activity was to start naming as many stereotypes as possible for all of the groups represented.

Awkward. I thought she was joking.

For the first few seconds (which felt like an hour) everyone was silent. By the end of it people were throwing out words like

“manual laborers”

“bad drivers”

“lazy”

“criminals”

“elitists”

“drunks”

“crazy smart!”

It was SO much fun!

Rather than getting upset or defensive and hating these new friends we made 3 hours ago, we were all laughing at the stereotypes associated with cultures of people who are all around us every day.

It looked a little bit like this, but less ridiculous

This diversity (stereotype) exercise was a great way to introduce the idea of cultural sensitivity to families like us who are adopting a child of another race. We talked about strategies for answering (or avoiding answering) questions from strangers when they see our colorful family. We talked about how to model some ways for our child to answer questions from his friends. We talked about ways to help our child process identity in a positive way so he doesn’t feel like he’s being disloyal to us. We talked about how to have the topic of adoption and family part of every day life. We talked and talked . . . and I feel like it was all just the tip of the iceberg.

It was informative and educational, but also really emotional.

One exercise asked us to list (+) and (-) for three columns:

Adoptive Parent/Birth Mother/Adoptee

We were to list the pros and cons of adoption from the perspective of each of these people. The first one was easy. I know why we’re adopting and I know the cons of the decision, too. Filling out the next two columns was  not as easy. I can guess and assume why adoption is positive and negative for these two people, but I will never know what it feels like from either perspective.

We are one corner of a love triangle. All we know is that there is a child in an orphanage, it is better for him to have a family than to stay there, and someday we will have to do our best to explain why the people he was born to chose not to raise him.

And then help him process that.

Probably for the rest of his life.

Without knowing what that feels like.

Lord help us. Give us wisdom to know his questions and fears when he can’t specifically say them. Give us strength to let him ask questions and search for answers even when it might be painful. Give us love to guide him through it and point him back to You for his true identity. I think of all the broken families and the hurt they face every day, and all of the adopted kids and their parents who are wrestling with these issues.

On the other hand, we do think we can handle the learning curve for adopting trans-racially. After the course Tye asked his stylish black friend, Ethan, to help us out. We want to make sure our kid has awesome hair, nice shoes and no ashy elbows. If it’s important to his culture, it’s important to us. He said yes, so we’re good.

And in our neighborhood white people are actually the minority sooooo, bonus.

Prayers for the Orphans

We received an email last week from our adoption agency with some news about foreign adoption in Ethiopia. Without knowing much about who wrote the article or how it all started, I’ll give you the basics with some quotes:

“The House of Peoples’ Representatives and the Ministry of Women, Children and Youth urged stakeholders and the public to undertake integrated work to totally stop adoption of Ethiopian children by foreign families.

In a press conference, House Speaker Abadula Gemeda and the Minister Zenebu Tadesse told journalists that stakeholders should work closely to end foreign adoption.

Abadula urged the importance to give priority to use local means to raise orphaned children rather than giving them away to foreign families.

He suggested the importance to establish and support local NGOs which raise orphaned children with the close collaboration of the public.

Our agency told us about this as a heads up. Ethiopian adoptions are not closing today, but by the sounds of it people are pretty anxious to make it happen.

Our reaction:

Terrific!

Communities should be taking care of orphans. Countries should have facilities and programs in place that will allow orphaned children to not only survive, but to thrive.  We think facilities and programs that will allow children to feel loved as a family will love them and cared for as a family would care for them, to grow up in the country and culture in which they were born, is the best option.

Until these things can be established, we will pray for the children who are waiting. Waiting for parents who love them, for a safe place to grow and develop, to have dreams and live them out, to know that they are valued and have a purpose on this earth. We know the authorities making these decisions have the orphans in their best interest. Therefore, we pray foreign adoptions do not close until there is a plan for orphan care.

We aren’t worried about what this will mean for us. We know God has plans for us to adopt some child, somewhere. If He didn’t, this wouldn’t be on our hearts. Whether the child comes from Ethiopia, we don’t know.

We will continue the adoption process knowing one day we will have the kid in our home who was waiting for us as we were waiting for them.

Our update on the process:

First meeting with our social worker for the home study is this week!

Meanwhile, here is a super cute picture of Uncle Roger with his new puppy cousin, Cauliflower. Jan and I like to call her La Fleur.

A Very Ethiopian Christmas

Last night we went to an Ethiopian Christmas party. Mainly we ate and talked about Ethiopia.

Here is some riveting information about how Christmas is done in the fine country of Ethiopia. I found it on the World Wide Web.

The Ethiopian name for Christmas is Genna, which comes from the word Gennana (eminent) and expresses the coming of the Lord to free mankind of its sins. Genna is also the name of a hockey-like game which is said to have been played by the shepherds when they heard of the birth Christ. Men and boys in villages now play the traditional Genna in the afternoon of Christmas day while elders and community members watch. Genna begins early in the day, around 6 AM, when people gather in churches for mass. Genna is celebrated on January 7th.

People receive candles as they enter the church. After lighting the candles everyone walks around the church three times, then stands throughout the mass, which may last up to three hours.

Food served at Christmas usually includes injera. Tye made doro wat and our friends made lentil dishes, beef tibs, cabbage and other vegetables.

I didn’t think I would like the food. I was nervous. I do love the concept of scooping everything up with bread. That’s just genius. But I was afraid of the spices. I’m not very good at loving foods I’m not used to.

Surprisingly, I really liked it! Bread, good. Doro wat, gooooood. Lentils, goooooood!

(who remembers when Rachel made a trifle with beef, sautéed with peas and onions, raspberry jam, and whipped cream or something because the cookbook pages were stuck together? Joey loved it. “What’s not to love? Beef, goooood. Jam, gooooooooood.”)

The injera was strange at first. It was sort of foamy/spongy. But then I got more used to it and it was great.

The spices- fantastic. I loved all the spices everyone used. Berbere, cardamom, turmeric and fenugreek mostly.

One more important fact about Ethiopian Christmas- gift giving is a very small part of it. Time is spent with family and friends and small gifts are exchanged. None of that consumer driven rushing around holiday stress. We can take a lesson from that, I think. 

What’s your favorite holiday tradition?